Dr. Sadomasochism

I am a person
Unlike you

Suicidal?
Self-harm?
ED?
Ever had any of these?

I am a person
Unlike you
Unlike anyone

I wish you a merry world
of tragedy and suffering
I'm half your age
I've got twice your brain

You are not suited
for this line of work
Please...
Just fuck off.

The Law of 5

What is real?
What I can touch?
What I can see?
The radio waves of a snoring man.

What is real?
What I can I trust,
And who can I trust?
My whole existence in a shoebox

A man is only what he knows
A man is only what he believes
The 5 senses, the 5 sensations
The law of 5 and a spoon of inspiration

But man is but a dreaming child
The wild desires are running wild
To become this and to become that
Orchestra a play so blind, be the mouse or be the rat

Karma

Sick of pep talk
Sick of these sharks
Nibbling at my heels
And then telling me how it feels
Fuck off and get pregnant
I could care less about your fake ass sentiment
Where were you back then
I hate my species for thinking they care 'bout their specimen
But it's a fact that human being
Only do good, for the receiving

We are our only friend
No need to pretend
You feed off emotion
Until it's gone
They cast no reflection
Give no affection
They cast no shadow and
You will cast none either in the end.

Ebola Geisha

I awake to nothing
I drink three cups of coffee
Return to sleep at last
Dreamless pause from the past

Take on Egypt
Quicksand encrypt
Take on Russia
Fulfill with vodka

I awake to nothing
I drink three cups of coffee
Return to sleep at last
Dreamless pause from the past

Take on Asia
Enola geisha
Take on American dreaming
Free every living being

I awake to nothing
I drink three cups of coffee
Return to sleep at last
Dreamless pause from the past

Free every living being
Wipe out everything

Life Camp

You shall not lie
You shall lie
It doesn't matter
They will shoot you either way

I have lived
I have witnessed
Show me mercy,
Let me live

You shall not laugh
You shall not cry
They will have no mercy
So get in line

No smiles,
No songs,
No hopes,
No dreams

Work for the man
And you will never be free.

The End = The Beginning

The sun rises once more
The son arises from his tomb therefore
I walk among with the aura that drags me
I walk along with the sun and thee
The weights, the carriage, it weighs me down
The shakes in my legs, the social break-ins at dawn
I cry out in fear and anxiety
Please take me out, please, out of this society
The knees give in and shatter
As I realize, well, what does it matter?
The sun downs once again
The aura drags me along to my tomb, where I shall remain.
Oh never again, not a chance in hell
That I'll return to your ruins in your shell
Ghost towns all across the world
Nuclear war has annihilated your words
Then I shall return, when there is nothing but your bones
When the sun won't rise, I shall claim my throne.

Trash Can

I lived all of my life in a trash can
Nothing but, but it was enough
A trash can

Never give up, never give up
The rats are my friends
Never give up, try to get it up
I only use one hand

My world is a trash can
I only live of your trash can
You only offer me trash, man
How the hell am I supposed to react then?


Never give up, never give up
The rats are my friends
Never give up, try to get it up
I only use one hand

The Underworld

We live in the underworld
Is this the underworld?

It's not how I pictured it
but I went by how they painted it

This is the underworld
It has to be the underworld
And we shall never rise
For we have no upper world.

Idiots

I'm surrounded by idiots
We are all idiots
If one live among idiots,
one shall become one.
Fucking idiots.

Trees and Sharks

The greatest fascination
The exploding reaction
The deepest fear
The ruthless tears
The settling with dissatisfaction
The end is here
The giving in to

Muse

I remember the beautiful rain
The soothing sounds from the warm insides
Now that I remind myself, all I feel is pain
And how could I ever feel otherwise,
My muse

All you ever did was to pretend
You had it all planned out
You set up and played the end
You always knew that I wouldn't survive without
My muse

From the foreign fields that I'll never see
I depart and picture us there
I refuse to be what you want me to be
Without you, the home for me is nowhere near,
My muse

I sit here and wait for the meds to take effect
I play the guitar, while I don't know how
I play the notes of a de-winged insect
I play what I feel and that is sorrow,
My muse

I think of you and I break all the strings
You are haunting and hunting
I try to fly, but I have no wings
I don't think the meds are working,
My muse

My muse, may I call you my muse
You are no longer mine so I have nothing to loose
I will break his skull beneath my shoes
And after that, I'll surely get my noose,
My muse.

Lies-ha

I awoke hungover from all these meds
I thought to myself that if I could have one wish,
I'd wish I'd never been born

It'll take more than chemicals, empty talks and a good nights sleep
To recover from this disease that you have given me
We can blame everything and everyone
But I blame you for giving me a reason to breathe

And I blame you, mom and dad,
For being so irresponsible and dumb
You gave me life but now I'm dead
Accidents happen, right?
And the trickery and lies that resulted in me
And the treachery and lies that came down to this.

I have no more words left in me.

Better Off Dead

I wonder what went through your head after you hung up.
"he's better off dead"?
What else is there
I guess I have nothing good to offer.
I guess you will never love me again.
Or that you never did.
So what is left?
A girl with a broken heart
A boy with a broken world
I guess I am better off dead.

Trapped Under Ice

Trapped under the ice
On which you're watching
Please break the ice
Or walk away

I am frozen and I am cramping
One can only hold one's breath for so long

The hopes and dreams of a young man
Bubbles crashing upon the downside ice
Less and less, smaller and smaller
The bubbles fade
as the young man that I was
Turn blue and gray
The water fills the lungs of me
And I become one with the sea.

Black Widow

A thousand lonely suicides
The trees leak of suicides
The wind breathe of suicides

Will this be the night
Will this be your night

Will I end what we once started
And leave you to your empty li(e)ves
Your next victim
Will he turn out like us?

M.A.D.

There is no end to this song
But there is to this world
Our world was separated
Enemies without a cause


Love from first sight, and hate from first thought
Hate from first sight, and love from first thought


I no longer know how to defend myself
I can't surrender, I can't let go
We were made for each other
Mutual Assured Destruction


Nuke me,
Nuke you,
Nuke them,
Nuke us all.

Crucified

I am awaiting nothing.
I am awaiting the executioner.
I can imagine that this is how Jesus felt
When he walked up to the hill.

Crucified.
Upside down.

You are every thorn biting into my skull.
Every burden that the universe holds upon my shoulders.
Every nail into my body and every pain felt in this world.
But do I forgive you?

Crucified
Upside down.

The Black Hole and the Well

What the fuck have you done to me?
How can one person hurt another so deep
The deepest wound, the black hole in my belly
In my soul, in my rotting brain
In my fucking dick, in my fucking hands
My legs won't stop shaking,
I get twitches from the meds

What the fuck have you done to me?
I am so weak that I can barely stand
I lay in bed all day long, begging for a dream
For the black hole to swallow me, but it won't
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think
I went human for you, don't you know?
I get sick in my stomach of the thoughts of you and him

What the fuck have you done to me?
I can't even cry, the meds have led me dry
As you have bled me dry, of dreams
Bruised and empty, a heroin wreck
A star is dying in this one every night
Not very bright, the noose around my neck
This star has fallen, a thousand years away

What the fuck have you done to me?
I am not the mess I used to be
The reason you ran away with me
The reason you ran away from me
The empty souls of our tree dwell
Deep inside a lonely well, in a shallow shell
It ran low and bled into the night skyline

Coffeen

To be around these people
These humans
It makes my head turn
Uneasy and careful while careless

Dead men tell no tales
Bullshit
This dead man is telling you loads of tales
Tales of the sane and insane

Coffee keeps me up
And out of my coffin
Coffee stains everywhere
Coffee brings me down

Tear this view of people
Like a piece of paper
I envy people in car-crashes
Mid air collision
Like a piece of paper...

Eyes Open

I dream of you every night
Last night I reached out my hand
and hit something nearby
I awoke and realized it was a bottle or a can

The terror and painful grief and anxiety that I felt
Over the realization that you are gone forever
and I am left here on my own with no more cards to be dealt
You were my only one but the poison in your mind lead to a certain never

My eyes were always open as we kissed
Just so I could see the only real beauty I have ever witnessed.

Wasteland

My will is weak
It makes my body weak
I can hardly lift myself
The burdens and the inevitable
It haunts me night and day

Will I grow up and be responsible?
Or will I stay young and fade to gray?
I die of my own hand rather than yours
Your great everything, your great nothing

It makes me weak to live with this burden
I was not born to live a life imprisoned or dead

Robots can't give birth, remember that
Or can they?
Let's play God some more
Let's gamble with religions
Theories and truths, but only one can be true
or none
We gamble with our lives and we die for others gambles

I am so tired and I am so weak
I cannot live with this burden for a second longer
but I cannot move or dare to try it
I just lay here and hope that my heart stops beating by itself

Out of grief,
Out of loss,
And out of fatigue
It's all over
It's a wasteland.

"I love you, but..."

Rainbow

Was it the cave-in you'd been hoping for?
A truth that lied, that spit me right in the face
I shut my eyes, try to convince myself
that it is all a dream, or a coma
That outside you are waiting for me to wake
Forgive me for hoping so,
I don't want to cause you any pain.
But in this universe, at this moment,
The one that I can touch,
You are far gone
and I can't even see you in the distance
You ran far, far away
To a far away place beyond the rain
Have you touched the rainbow?

Incest

Those of my own that intrude
I will be wiped out
For their doings
I ain't no fucking messiah

I sing with the heart stuck in my throat
I feel the sorrow of all unfortunate
The children of the earth
Playing Gods, masters and heroes
And their siblings pay the price

Look at the carvings on the wall
The paintings and drawings
With their blood and tears.

Apparition

And as he stood before the shower
tried to capture the water in his hands
but it all ran through in the end
He washes his feet
washes the mud away.

And I used to blame the father of her becomings
I understand the father now
there are no second chances
and I think that in time
that she will know
And perhaps, forgive him.

I see myself in him,
and I think you see him in me
I hope that one day you shall understand,
and forgive, and forget.

Stench

I don't know whether she stinks
Or if i do
She's a human compost
And I guess that so am I.

Tel Megiddo

Armageddon of the mind
Armageddon of the body
Armageddon of the sun
Armageddon of the stars

We are designed to suffer through our lies

Cate Sicapi El Kacikala

När människans närvaro blir för tung, då flyr jag dit träden hopar sig och dit floden ebbar. Mina riktiga kamrater, mina medjordingar, de ni kallar 'djur', vi lever på vår jord, med vår jord och dör på vår jord, med vår jord och i vår jord.
Tills ni kom, nu finns det snart inget hem och ingen jord. Ni äcklar mig.

Människans blinda öga och döva öra.
Tar och tar. Rättigheter och skyldigheter. Förkasta allt liv, bara ni får den lycka ni söker.

Människans överhet och intelligens.
Tar för givet att livet finns. Vissa, till och ger till och med hellre hän till något så kallat efterliv.
Förkasta allt som inte passar in.
Bara ni får den mening ni söker.

Jag säger "ni", då människan i mig dog för länge sedan. Jag är ett djur och jag finns. Jag har avsagt mig den tron som ni tilldelat mig. Jag står ej över någon varelse. Inte fisken, inte myran, inte spindeln eller grisen. Inte apan, inte hunden, inte katten, inte björnen eller elefanten. Endast människan, som ej lever för livets skull, utan för en plikt, tro, lust och kärlek.

En vacker dag ska jag avsäga mig allt vad människan innebär.

//

When the presence of mankind grows too heavy, I escape to a place where the trees accumulates and the river ebbs. My comrades, my earthlings, they whom you refer to as 'animals', we live on our soil, with our soil and we die in our soil. Until you came, there will soon be no home nor soil left. You disgust me.

The blind eye of mankind, the deaf ear of mankind. Gives and takes. Rights and obligations. Denounce all of life, as long as you shall receive the happiness you long for.

Authority of mankind, intelligence of mankind. Takes existence for granted. Some, rather, even give themselves to a so-called 'afterlife'. As long as you find the purpose you long for.

I say "you", because the man within me died a long time ago. I am an animal and I exist. I have renounced the throne that I have been given. I stand above no creature, not the fish, ant, spider nor pig and, not the ape, the dog, the cat, the bear nor the elephant. Only mankind who no longer live for the sake of living, but for the duty, faith, lust and love.

One beautiful day, I shall renounce all of me that is man.

Kamikaze: The Divine Wind

Suicide attacks,
Terrorists,
You say they die for nothing
What are you dying for?

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

Wake up and smell the coffee?
I fucking reek of coffee
And I want to go back to bed.

Psychiatric and Mental Institutions, Illusions and Delusions / The Hopeless Case of Caring

Patients and doctors,
Caregivers- and takers.
Medicinal lobotomy,
Empty words and empty hands.

People, treating people.
Humans, treating humans.
The hopeless case of caring.
I search for the pinakes.

People playing God
Getting good grades,
Pretending to care,
Just to get a that paycheck.

Am I here on vacation,
or am I on medication
And it's so fucking funny
They give me a rat
and they call it a bunny.
Am I losing my mind?
Am I going insane?
They tell me I am fine,
but this place is turning me out inside.

People treating people,
just to feel good about their lives.
People helping people,
just to reserve a place in paradise.

Transition

Look the bug in the eyes
It tells me that fear is but a child
I can no longer tell right from wry.
Great things must be coming my way,
Since I have no hope left anymore.
The whore of Babylon squirts everywhere.
Give me hope and I will bid farewell..
'Cause hope never did me any favors.

I hate you all.

I will go against all advice,
I will not show weakness
before the whores and guards of time.
I will hate you all.

This child who'd never harm a spider,
He was good and he was pure.
This deluded monster that you see today,
a result of your pollution.

I hate you all.

Every last son of a bitch,
and/or daughter of which.
Mankind and womankind.
The worst bacterias of them all.
The blood stains on the wall.

I hate you all.

Setting Sun

What is out there?
Is something waiting to happen at last?
Sometimes I can feel the future,
but I've lost all track of the past.

Empty words, empty words.
I am waiting for nothing.
Silent birds, silent birds.
I am longing for nothing.
Forever shun, forever shun.
I am craving something.
Setting sun, setting sun.
I will receive nothing.

Good Mourning

I can remember it all so well
Memories lost have appeared before me again.
We sat in that bright room in your grandma's hell.
The brown and beige colors, oh the hypnotizing blend.
It's stubborness to put me to sleep.
The clockwork, the paintings, the photos of the past.
I always looked to you, and away from the deep.
I could've never have guessed that the visit would be our last.

I can still remember the smell,
And the drowzieness.
The stiff and tender politeness and respect.
It is but a picture in my mind.
A picture that I have no choice but to burn.
Another moment lost in time.
Another heart broken, and one who took a turn.

That is how the humans say.
I will never fill the void of your love.
I will just lay here and wait
for the day when there comes a dove,
That will fly out of my mouth.

Aspergers

Your Aspergers score : 137 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistisc) score: 80 of 200
You are most likely to have Aspergers Syndrome.

What Now, My Love?

"What now my love
Now that you left me
How can I live through another day
Watching my dreams turn into ashes
And all my hopes into bits of clay
Once I could see, once I could feel
Now I'm a numb
I've become unreal


I walk the night, oh, without a goal
Stripped of my heart, my soul 

What now my love
Now that it's over
I feel the world closing in on me
Here comes the stars
Tumbling around me
And there's the sky where the sea should be


What now my love
Now that you're gone
I'd be a fool to go on and on
No one would care, no one would cry
If I should live or die


What now my love
Now there is nothing
Only my last goodbye
Only my last goodbye"

- Pierre Delanoë / Carl Sigman

A Letter to Where the Dreams all end

I never had anybody else.
Never.
Only in your mind.
The monster which you created,
no fault of yours, the blame does not lay here,
but it is a monster that you created.

And now you have left.
You were unsure, felt guilt
and you used me.

Our last months,
you told me you loved me,
but not in the same way.
That I was your best friend
and you could never have anybody else.

You told me that right now there was no "us".
You told me that we have to wait and see.
You told me to wait.
And I waited, and I waited, and I waited.
And I drank, and I drank, and I drank.
Tried to forget, tried to see what everyone is telling me;
"there's plenty of fish in the sea".
But we were on our own.
I lived for you.

I have many disabilities and many faults.
You gave me a reason to wake up.
Cliché, cliché, you think.
You gave me a reason to fall asleep.
So I could wake to see another day.

But as I said,
I never had anybody else.
The monster which destroyed us,
was your creation,
your disability and your fault,
your insecurities and your fear,
your disorder and your history.

I never gave up,
I never let go,
I never stopped loving you,
no matter what you said or did.
I loved you far beyond that.
Enough to break down and give in
and let you make me believe
that everything was my fault.
That I wanted someone else.
That I was a disgusting fucking being.
That I was just like everybody else.
That I had betrayed you.
You had me convinced.
But deep down inside, I knew.
And I tried to tell you,
even though I was tired and I was hurt
I tried to show you how much I love you.
And I'm not like anybody else.
I don't want to hurt you.
I just want to know,
how you can abandon your "soul-mate"
and your "best friend" and your "lover",
and just pretend like he doesn't exist.

I am in a mental institution,
and I think you'd fit right in here.
With your disorders, delusions and your fears.
You are forever traumatized.
But I will never give up.
You are my only one.

And if I am not your only one,
and if everything you ever told me was a lie,
at least tell me.
Don't pretend like I don't exist.
Just because I wanted to end myself.
Just because I am out of reach.
and if it all was just a lie,
and we will never meet again.
I am sorry that I met you
and I am sorry that you met me.
Just say the words,
so I can be relieved.
Tell me the truth,
what are you doing with him?
Why are you not there for me?
Was it all a lie?
Just say the truth
and don't turn me away.
All I want is the truth.
So I can live, or I can leave.

Masochist

And I am pleased to be
Pleased to be
Pleased to be
The reason why you're mad.

Stains

The stain that won't go away
Washing over and over
It won't go out.
How can I give up?
Cramps from all the scrubbing.
I won't stop until I get there.

I gave up a long time ago,
But I'm still here, aren't I?
Given up upon,
should I take my leave,
die alone and dream empty?

It terrifies and paralyze.
Fear of both life and death

21

I may make it to 21. But no longer. That I have known since my first dawn.
I will leave no trace, I will dissappear.
Into the darkest of rooms where the fog ain't too unfamiliar.
So when you find me, stay calm.
It's the way it's supposed to be.
And if I am still breathing in the summer of 2013, please kill me.

Untitled

I will find a way.
They don't know what they're talking about.
I will find a way.
Someone please end me.
I am withering away and it is very painful.
Have mercy, and kill me softly and quick.
Please.
Anyone.
I beg you.

Widower

I can't tell who's the widow and the widower.
I guess in death, we may somehow meet again.
As widow and as widower.
May there be a second chance.
Maybe there, I could dance.
Maybe. May be.
Farewell, planet earth.

Shattered and Annihilated

Can't you see that this is all for you?
Can't you see that I'm here because of you?
Every worthless word that I write is all that is left of me?
You want poetry?
A love letter?
I can't get a foot out of bed.
I am nothing, I am no one.
Since I am forgotten.
I was dedicated,
I was dreadicated,
I am deadicated.
All of these words and all of this pain
it's all for you.

Et Maintenant

"Et maintenant
Que vais je faire
De tout ce temps
Que sera ma vie

De tous ces gens
Qui m'indiffèrent
Maintenant
Que tu es partie

Toutes ces nuits
Pour quoi pour qui
Et ce matin
Qui revient pour rien

Ce coeur qui bat
Pour qui pour quoi
Qui bat trop fort
Trop fort

Et maintenant
Que vais je faire
Vers quel néant
Glissera ma vie

Tu m'as laissé
La terre entière
Mais la terre
Sans toi c'est petit

Vous mes amis
Soyez gentils
Vous savez bien
Que l'on y peut rien

Même Paris
Crève d'ennui
Toutes ces rues
Me tuent

Et maintenant
Que vais je faire
Je vais en rire
Pour ne plus pleurer

Je vais bruler
Des nuits entières
Et au matin
Je te hairai

Et puis un soir
Dans mon miroir
Je verrai bien
La fin du chemin

Pas une fleur
Et pas de pleurs
Au moment de
L'adieu

Je n'ai vraiment
Plus rien à faire
Je n'ai vraiment
Plus rien"

- Gilbert Bécaud and Pierre Delanoë

Deus ex machina: ἀπὸ μηχανῆς θεός

And I can't seem to understand,
how fucking stupid I was.
I could see it from a million miles away.
From years and months and days.

I should've known better than to trust in you.
You were broken, and I was broken.
But we held each other strong.
And what we had, and what we fought for is all gone.

And I don't care anymore.
About happiness, or about you.
You betrayed, you changed and you never told me.
And how the fuck could I have been so blind,
to not see how she was caught and wanted to be released.
But it all comes down to this,

You are out there with a hope and repression of our memories.
I am here, locked inside with a dread and depression,
'cause I remember the good and the bad.

I can never cherish our memories,
not like this and not where you are.
And the way you abandoned me when I needed you the most.
You were distant and you were cold and unsure.
You felt guilty as you told me;

"I still love you, and I always will"

What is love? And what is caring?
We are all just cold damned liars.
And we set out to find happiness,
and we will do anything to achieve this.

So everything that we do is a selfish act.
Everything that we say is a manipulated fact.
We try to feel and to connect with our peers,
and we fail in the end,
'cause there are no ears.

Nobody is listening to anyone.
We will never understand someone else's thought nor feeling.
So stop pretending and stop acting,
'cause the curtains have fallen.
Give me the truth for once.
Tell me why you really left.

To Be

And I thought that I could be a something, worth something.

But I forgot how to be
And how to breathe.

And that something that i believed in,
that something that kept me going
But it was all worth nothing
And i am left with anything.

I know better now, in these days of medication.
That it takes more than dedication,

To remember to breathe,
And to remember to be.

From Shanghai and to Alaska to freedom.

I awoke at 5 am.
I was hungry and I had to piss.
I wasn't tired so I couldn't go back to infinity.
Then I found myself in Shanghai
and Alaska at the same time.
I met a man who's lost in the fog of my endless mind.
He introduced me to Jesus.
Who told me; "sit back and watch."
Fireworks began to cross the sky.
Fireworks like nebulas and dragons.
All across the sky of aurora borealis.
The dance of the spirits.
And suddenly I recognized a sound,
it came creeping on and became audible.
He looked at me and grinned.
"Also Sprach Zarathustra" being played all across the planet.
He told me he had arranged this.
Then I awoke.

The Purple Tree Is Dead

I'm scared and I want to contact you.
I'm terrified of the consequences.
They feed me pills and it's almost funny how they think that this can be cured.
That I can be cured of you.
And I wonder how you can sleep at night.
And if you know what you have done to me.
And I wonder if you ever think of me.
And if you tore our pictures down,
if you had the courage and stomach to.
So many last goodbye's,
so many written notes of suicide.
And you probably wonder if I have the courage and stomach too.
I don't and I hate you.
You left me out to die.
If this is love, I can't take no more.
I guess my idea of love differs from yours.
'cause in my book you don't leave your loved one to die.
But my book is torn,
I am forever ruined.
My first light will be my last.
And as our beloved Jacob sang;
"I'll take my love to the grave."

Implode

I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.

My body feels so heavy,
that it will eventually implode.

I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like anything.
I don't feel like everything.

Storyteller

I met a lady who wanted to go to the Paradise, where she belonged.
She claimed to be a young gorgeous German girl and an heir to the throne,
but they had turned her into a filthy Gypsy, she said.

I met a man who wanted to blow his own head off
'cause he didn't have blue eyes, blonde hair and wasn't a fit young man,
and 'cause he wasn't allowed to go home and wash his underpants.

I met a girl who claimed to be a hundred years old,
She told me many times that I was an Eskimo.
She claimed she was a serial killer in her previous life in the 1940's.
She laughed and said that's why she was being punished.
Then she laughed again and told me that she sees her dead grandma in a wheel chair.
And she shouted out that alive, her grandma had no wheel chair.

I met a girl who were honest, stained and beautiful.
Angry and righteous, for the pain she had been put through.
Determined to change the world, through politics and the rights.
I know it debouches into nothing, but she does it for the passion of the night.
She fights with everything and everyone, just like me.
We speak of how humanity has lost it's right to live, put 'em out in the ashtray!
Together we may wander and perish, but in separate ways.
But for the same cause and reason.

I met a young girl, who never uttered a word to me.
I think she may have been frightened.
I tend to uncap peoples calm quiet li(e)ves.
With my black clothes, ripped jeans and my dead stare.
I gave her a smile and she returned it to me.
For this I am grateful, for this I am glad.
She will grow up and I wonder how she will look at the world.
Will she remember that dark, grave and obscure man she met at the hospital,
many, many years ago?
I hardly think so. I tend to slip out of peoples minds as much as I engrave them.
'Cause just like everything else I debouch into nothing.

Enumeratio

I promised myself I wouldn't live to see
the 25th summer of this living being.
I know well enough to know that a timeline don't exist,
but I can see that in your eyes that I do exist.

Tell your Gods and saviors that I couldn't care less.
If there's anything out there, it's the black hole of emptiness.
It will eat this world whole and all that lives here.
We get what we deserve, it's Karma, you claim.
You see the Armageddon as a history name.

Tell your Gods and saviors that I do exist,
I breathe air, I breathe smoke, I am evil, bring the exorcist.
This timeline of yours, the excuse to pray
You dream with open eyes and you give yourself away.
I was given away a long time ago, but not by a fucking ethos.
When I opened my eyes and gave you this epos;

You will never live to see the light of day,
because the light of day is only dead remains.
Out in the universe, where someone sees us in from a far distance
we are a dead star fallen out of existance.
This you would say to be a futuristic claim out of an Alien point of view,
it may or may not be the truth, if I only knew.
But we will never know, so why bother?
The black hole will swallow our world just like any other.

Thaw

The winds blew strong
as we sat in the sun.
We were looking for warmth
But recieved none.
Where do we go when the sun turns us down?
We turn to each other, and I remember the sounds.
We walked hand in hand back into the house.
I was shaking of the cold as I grasped you and mouthed,
I will see you when the wind is no longer about.
And my lips they were frosen,
As your lips thawed me out.

The River

Breathe in, breathe out
Beats in, beats out
The river flows along,
Stones are standing strong
But the river floats on.

Blinders

I woke up on the wrong side of life today.
I am furious I am blinded.
I have been in a cage
for a second too long.
They put blinders 'round my eyes,
They started testing with their cures,
that would turn me human.

But the beast has has been woken,
There is no turning back.
The beast was woken.
I see red, I see black.
I will feed of your flesh.
I'm about to attack.
So watch your fingers,
When you come back.

The Cure

To exist in this state
I can no longer feel anger nor hate
poisoned by the cure.

I walk on thin ice
walk with no land in sight
feel the temperature rise
and you know what is coming.

I can no longer exist in this state
Drowning in nothing and fading away
I was poisoned by the cure.

Loose Ends

Did you ever watch the snow melt
did you ever watch the light fade
did you ever see the wet run dry

you never did
you never do
you never will

loose ends
is your destiny

Ice Age

The ice is moving.
The earth is moving.
The heard is moving.

The ice comes crashing in,
Into me.
I stand tall,
But I won't give in.

The ice age is over.
And I still stand tall.
And I am reigning victorious.

Solitude

We were there. As we were.
You were there on your own.
In your lonesome zone.

I were there, too on my own.
Too in my lonesome zone.
Desperate for anything.

In desperate attempts to mend our lonesome worlds
I died trying, just like Custer did.
Died trying, slayed for nothing, died for nothing.

Trying to mend our lonesome worlds into one,
Realizing that solitude is what makes us go on,
In the same direction,
with no sight nor future.
I see the horizon of forever.
We are alone, together.

私たちは一緒に孤独である。

Sixth Sense

I can see the future.
This so called sixth sense.
I can feel it all around me.
It drags and keeps me in.
It drags me out to wander about.
I can see the power it has.
But as a man once wrote;
"I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."

Words

I woke up with an answer to everything.
The plan and the words that could change the world.
But it escaped my mind.
I am left with nothing.
Just as I was yesterday,
And the day before,
And the day before that.
I am regret. I am dread.
I am what I was born to be.
Dead inside and left with nothing to see.

Epitaph

Just a ghost who never has a chance
Never had a chance.
An infant born without a heartbeat.
The dreadfull guilt and despair of the abortionists.
Caught inbetween like a fish in the net.
The epitaph is what is left of me.

Sun

I am the son
and it is coming down
to crash and terminate life.

I am the son
of someone
son of a son of a son of a son
and what comes crashing
is what gives us life.

I am the first born son
I am the son of a son of a son of  a sun
and what will come down crashing
and what will kill me
is the sun.

Blood

I'll see you tonight.
Blood is blood is blood.
And we're gonna fight.

Tell the pigs out on the street,
That here I come,
on my own two feet.

Kevlar, kevlar won't save you now.
'cause blood is blood is blood is blood.

Standing here on my own two feet.
At least, I think that they belong to me.

Product of mass production,
with no salvation.
Product of the state,
A branded cow on it's way to the abattoir.

But here I come
on my own two feet.
A bull has risen,
go ahead, go tweet.

I will stand my ground.
'cause blood is blood
And this blood is mine.
And It is mine since "birth".

I will see you tonight,
I will destroy your life.
Blood is blood is blood.