Sick

Why do I miss you so fucking much?
I don't want to anymore
I'm sick of wishing
I just wanted something more
Why'd you use me
then just cut my throat?
Why did I have to be your boat?
That leaked and sunk to the bottom
That now seem to be lost and forgotten
Why can't you stop haunting me?
Why can't you just leave me be?
Fuck
I fucking trusted you

Dreaming

I've been waiting for you
It's such a shame
But it's not up for choose
I sure always took the blame
Forever fear the pain of loss
Feel nothing ever, for anyone
I cannot deal with another toss

It's all over now
So much for the fun
Fear everything now
When the end has begun

It's all downhill from here
The fog shadows but the end is near
The man in the box, shot out
I feel the gravity pulling me down
Fevered dreams of a man in a cloud
The shooting stars are masked
No more wishes to left to grant
I just wish I would've asked
The dream is over and now I can't.

Destiny

Where else could I be?
What could I have done differently?
Ain't it funny, destiny?
I was born to die
Nothing will change, but give it a try
But I have to have lived to be able to die
So I guess that I was dead all along
No wonder that you left me alone
That is how I shall remain
Alone and filled with pain
But my agony's about to end
Feelings buried, letter sent
Goodbye, my love

Heart

Everything is going to hell
And I can breathe
I can see my heart
Beat in and out of step
It is getting crowded here.

Bones

I don't think they understand.
No one knows.
My body is giving in.
My mind is trembling.
I am no longer here.
Floating ashore nowhere.
That is where my heart is.
That is where there are no words.
That is my empty home,
And that is where I shall lay my bones.

Terra

I heard the planet crying.
I started crying.
The warmth, the bright shining light.
The snow melting before my eyes.
My eyes melt before its cries.
I see myself within these ties.

Distant

I don't want to hurt no more
Why is there no way out of this?
Every sigh is just another miss
I don't want to hurt anymore
I don't want to die on my own
There has to be a way out of here
'Cause where I am, nothing is near
I am distant like a rock out in space
I look but all I see is her face
I can't take it no more
I am drowned, swallowed, washed ashore
There has to be a way out of this
'Cause without her I am just another miss

The Bull

Tango about
Turn around your third world eye
Guns are ablazing
Tear up the nuclear sky
Penicillin lies about the weather here
A bullet will surely make it clear

Tie down the bull,
for it has horns
Stay away from the rose,
for it has its thorns

Dropping baggage just to float away
In your air balloon of justice
It will all fade to gray
All the words I mouthed
Every promise, every sound
Airwaves lost in many years of doubt

Tie down the bull,
for it has horns
Stay away from the rose,
for it has its thorns

The Kübler-Ross Model

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Repeat

Endless spiral
The rain ain't getting wetter
They fucking lied
It never gets better.

God

One God, only one God
Who's there to save you
One thought, only one thought
That is you
You are God

Who's the creator of everything?
You create this world every goddamn day
In your fucking head

Who knows?
Who can you trust?
What can you trust?
Your government?
Your family?
Your fucking self?

One God, only one God
Who giveth and who taketh
One thought, only one thought
You are the only one who really cares

We live in our heads
We talk to ourselves
We pollute each other
With fucking bullshit
We feed each other with a meaning
Which is a fucking lie

One God, only One God
We are our own lord
One thought, only one thought
We are our own lie

This is fucking pointless
Kill yourself.

The Truth Hurts

I hope that you read every word
Cause every word I write's for you
About you

"you are the sun, and I am the earth"

My world revolves around you
You say I'm mad,
at least I mean what I say
At least I keep my intentions on the radar
Cause I ain't no lying piece of shit like you

I hope you drown and wash ashore
With no place left to go
I might be there,
I might be gone forever
All I know is that because of you,
I will never ever recover
Never ever

Does that sound fair to you?
Or to your replacement of a man?
Is he the one?
Did you lie to us both all along?

Well done,
I hope you're satisfied
You have completely destroyed
The one who you claimed to love

Fake

I pray for this train,
this car, this plane
To crash and to burn,
to collide with me

Tear this world apart
Not much left to keep
The scavengers even flee
It hurts more to be than to hurt

Fuck

Was anything real?
I am surrounded by carnivore beasts, liars, beggars and fakes
Dress to impress the studio audience

Play your games, dear
Keep your act together
Abuse your powers, your authority
Anything to keep your head above water

Sinking Ships

You were my blinding light
In my darkness
Is this living?

I don't want to see anymore
Blinding darkness
Sinking in

You lied, you lied, I believed
You said you could
only ever love me

You laugh last
I die fast
Were we not meant to be?
To be

I were never meant to be
I was born a bastard lie
Now I have to pay for staying me

You sank my entire fleet
You burnt my bridge
You left me out for the sharks to feed

Sailing in Space pt. II

Cry out
Hear nothing
Say nothing

Every time the same old routine
Slit my throat, ghost ship out at sea

Cry out
Hear nothing
Say nothing

I move my limbs from place to place
But my tree was planted within our space

Cry out
Hear nothing
Say nothing

Ghost ship out at sea, harboring in anything
Sold my anchor, my heart, to thee

Cry out
Hear nothing
Say nothing
Perish

Ultraviolet Solar Radiation vs. Mankind

I gasp
There is no air
There ain't no air here

I've been carrying
This garbage all my life
There ain't never no trash can in sight
Give up hope, throw it on the ground
Planet Earth was lost and shamed
long before I was born anyway

I gasp
There ain't no air
I grasp
There's nothing there

Sprained Souls

I didn't know better
I did not know anything else
Now I care less and less
Learn to live or to live less
The knee I rest upon
Slowly, slowly crack
It might as well have been my back

Lower, lower
Heavy, heavier
Dead, less dead
Alive, less alive

I told you, I promised
My love to you is golden
Take turns with your alter ego
To break your promises
The knee we rested upon,
Bit for bit, would slowly crack
It might as well have been my back

Lower, lower
Heavy, heavier
Alive, more alive
Dead, more dead

As if I could die any more...

Sailing In Space

For those that will prevail
For those that walk astray
I guess I am of the latter
And I hope for something better

But reality prevails
And life decays

I look for nothing
I found this something
To meet ones maker
Ones mother, ones creator

But reality prevails,
I sink and sink
There's no more wind in my sails
There's no wind in space

I turn fluid from all the booze
I leak into this noose
For forever had its limit
Like our universe is as timid

But reality prevails,
I sink and sink
There's no more wind in my sails
There's no wind in space


For those that can believe
For those not lost at sea
That hold onto that mast
It's all a lie, our lives run fast

But reality prevails,
I sink and sink
There's no more wind in my sails
There's no wind in space

There's no driver at the wheel
It's better that way
There's no anchor in my boat
I anchored once, never more

But reality prevails,
I sink and sink
There's no more wind in my sails
There's no wind in space

Bruised

I want out of this hell,
I want to believe that there's a way
out of here
I wish I could see another path ahead
It's filled with bruised redemptions
None real, none true

I want to believe there's a way
out of here
I want out of this hell
But I don't see any piers anywhere
the darkness and sharks have swallowed me.

Petroleum Skies

Give up

I wore you thin
My place in this universe
I wore within
My tomb, my love, my hearse

Give up

Terrible notions
Lost for the living
Humble emotions
Forgotten and forgiven

Give up

I saw you shine
Through petroleum heavy skies
I saw something divine
I saw infinity in your eyes

Give up

Leeches and Vampires / Hope and Love

How many times do I have to give up?
How many times do I have to give in?
I love you so much that I have to let go
But I love you enough to never do so

I write and I write and I write myself off
I write 'till my fingers wither and fall off
My hope has been buried once too many times
but "her love is a vampire", and she will arise and comply

Leech till there's nothing left to bleed
Blood and love, what is the difference?
Puncture my veins and bleed me dry
Give me hope and abandon again, when do I learn?

When do I learn and how do I know
When do you stop and when will you show
When to stop waiting, where to bury the spade
I'll bury my spade with you, my love, my vampire, my grave.

For You

I want to live in an alternative universe
I want to stay alive, or stay buried
I want to live my life long or short

I want to cope with myself and with my broken heart
I want to have my dreams back
I want to create art

I want to live in an alternative universe
Where time doesn't exist
Where you die before birth

I want to live in an alternative universe
Where you are alive
Where I drive a hearse

Tell the ghosts that we never met
Tell my tears to never grow shed
Say the things you want to hear
Bear the burdens you carry to my ear

I want to live in an alternative universe
Where we never left
Where I'm arrested for theft

I dug my grave quite well
You dug one faster though
In it, of your hands, I will forever dwell

I am struggling alone with this chapter
Will the book end or go on
And what will it matter after?

Declared Depressed But Fine

What does it matter?
Your treatment, medicine and psychiatrists
I am back at square one
And there is only one square in this game.

Home II

Home, it rocks you up and down
Home, it follows you around
Home, where your feet are always cold
Home, where you never grow old

Home, a place to call your own
Home, a place where you share your throne

Home, loving strangers and love them blind
Home, the sack of every new born child
Home, it flocks you among sheep
Home, it slits your throat when you fall asleep

Home is where I am
Home is where I end
Home are these flesh and bones
This home is my home is my home.